It’s interesting how fast life changes. A month ago, I was the scum of the earth and didn’t have a place to turn for refuge. The words that was spoken to me and the actions of those around me, although unwarranted, left me speechless. All I could do was honor the request that was being made of me.
Today, my situation hasn’t tangibly improved. However, mentally and emotionally, I’m in a much better place. I think the biggest surprise for others was that I am not one to stand there and argue, fuse, and fight with someone who can’t be reasoned with. I know how to move on and let you be. The biggest surprise for me was in my response to being around those that hurt me. Sometimes, you don’t realize just how much you hurt or where you hurt until you have to see the person or people who hurt you again.
Right now, at this very moment, all I can do is pray. I pray that He works on me. Because, if I don’t call on His name, I may reach out and touch somebody, and I don’t mean in a respectable manner. If He don’t work on me, I have some unkind words for someone. I may smash some things. I may revert back to the mindset I had while going through my divorce. I can still hear Jazmine Sullivan encouraging me to bust some windows out of cars. If I don’t pray, I just may snap today on someone who just asked if I wanted paper or plastic.
I find peace and refuge in knowing, that instead of doing any or all of the above, my God will fight this battle. I’m a good man who has great goals, ambitions, and intentions. But I’ve been hurt by some people who I thought loved me. I’ve been used and abused by some people I thought cared for me. But, the Bible warned me that if they did it too Jesus, they will do it too me. He said pray for those that hurt you and bless those that spitefully use you. I haven’t always been able to do that. But, in this situation I was.
He said that he will make your enemy your foot stool. And this time I was able to see that happen. One of the many people involved in this last plot to hurt me, within three days begged my forgiveness and I humbly did forgive them as hard as it was. The others may never do the same. But God has the victory. They’ve taken a lot from me and caused huge looses in my life, but God will restore, heal, and give me peace.